Paul’s Story: Don’t Assume. Don’t Ignore. Get Checked.
“I knew something wasn’t right. Sometimes, you must listen to that little alarm bell.” - Venencia Rayson
I am a Lung Cancer Specialist Nurse. I have spent many years supporting people through their lung cancer journeys. But in 2021, I found myself on the other side of cancer not as a nurse, but as a wife.
My husband, Paul, had been diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2020 and was receiving treatment. While he was on treatment, he developed pain in his hip. He managed it with paracetamol and carried on with his life.
He was still active. In March 2021, he even took part in the UK Census, going from door to door asking people questions. He was very active and he was a marathon runner.
Then, one day, Paul fell.
We were in the kitchen assembling a lawnmower. I was doing the practical work while Paul was reading the instructions. Suddenly, he fell to the floor. There was nothing slippery and no obvious reason for him to fall.
He quickly got up and laughed about it.
But I didn’t laugh.
My nursing instincts immediately kicked in.
He had hip pain. He had experienced an unexplained fall. He was increasingly tired and had developed constipation. Although there could have been many explanations for these symptoms, something didn’t feel right to me.
I asked his treating urology oncologist to review him and requested further investigations.
Paul was subsequently diagnosed with stage IV lung adenocarcinoma, EGFR-positive, with bone and brain metastases.
He started treatment with osimertinib in June 2021. His first MRI showed a good response, with some of the brain lesions regressing. We were hopeful.
But our hope was short-lived.
In September, I found Paul on the floor in the bathroom. He could no longer use his legs. He was admitted to hospital and received radiotherapy, but he never walked again and became bedbound.
Throughout all of this, Paul never complained of headaches or significant pain. He was still eating and drinking, but he continued to lose weight.
I wanted to bring him home so that I could care for him there. Before he could leave hospital, another CT scan showed that he had developed lesions in his liver. There was uncertainty about whether these were from his lung cancer or represented another cancer.
We never got the opportunity to find out. Paul passed away on 21 October 2021.
What Paul’s story taught me
Paul’s story has stayed with me, both personally and professionally.
As a Lung Cancer Specialist Nurse, I knew that new or unexplained symptoms should not simply be dismissed—particularly in someone who already has a cancer diagnosis.
But as his wife, I also learned something very important:
Lung cancer does not always present in the way we expect.
Paul did not have a persistent cough.
He did not complain of breathlessness.
He did not have headaches.
His symptoms were subtle and could easily have been attributed to his prostate cancer, his treatment, tiredness or simply getting older.
It was the combination of symptoms and an unexplained fall that made me stop and think: “What if this is something else?” That question led to further investigation.
My message to you
Don’t assume. Don’t ignore. Get checked.
If you notice a change in your health that is unusual for you, don’t dismiss it.
If symptoms persist or something doesn’t feel right, speak to your healthcare professional.
And if you already have cancer, don’t automatically assume that every new symptom is related to your existing cancer or its treatment.
You know your body.
Listen to it. Ask questions. Speak up. Get checked.
Because sometimes, that little alarm bell can be telling you something important.
For Paul. ❤️